Wildfire

(This is written in respect and memory of Johnny Ellis.)

That is what suicide is. Wildfire. Because your pain spreads to everyone, out of control. It leaps from person to person, clinging to everything. If you somehow feel that it will all just disappear when you leave, I am here to tell you it doesn't.  Pain is left with everyone you came in contact with and everyone that they meet.  Your memory will live on.  But not you.  And that is the pain that spreads like wildfire.

I never knew you. I don't even recall seeing your face in the halls, but I have met the people who met you. I have laughed with people who laughed with you. I have even cried with people who have cried with you and now for you. We are all interconnected and I am sorry that I never had the time to say hello or goodbye. And now I will never have the chance. 

I now pray that I can start a fire of my own; a fire that will touch every individual. A fire of love.  A fire of respect.  A fire of friendship and compassion.  A fire of belonging.  After all, we are all connected, even if some of us would not like to be. I affect your life and you affect mine. I hope for all people that when the time comes that they must die, that they die with their hand held in the hand of another human being. Don't die all alone with a blade or a bottle held in that hand.

Please choose to look to your side and see the person who thinks they are not seen. And please, please, see them.  Because when they are seen they are not alone.  They know there is someone else-someone who maybe cares. The slightest hope pierces the darkest night. 

Spread your fire of love to your brothers and your sisters.  To mothers and fathers.  To all people you meet. Because fire will spread whether or not you want it to. So we choose the fire.  A fire of pain or a fire of love.  If we choose the latter, maybe one day we will see the effect of our love. Maybe, just maybe there will be one less suicide. 

Moving on

Just look up, and don't look back. Sometimes people change and often they don't. In the end I am very sorry that you should think, that I could ever blame you. Maybe it's not me but maybe it is. If it is I am sorry and if it isn't I am still sorry. That you could ever hurt like that. 

Bah Humbug

Happy New Year. Bah Humbug, it is just going to be like last year and the year before that. And now that you have read my negative post, try and make a New year resolution to not post negative things, or even try to avoid pointing out peoples mistakes (grammar and spelling). It could make the social media world a better place. A very merry new year to you all.

Never the same

So I realized that I will never be the same. No matter what happens good or bad. I will never be the same, as I am in this moment. I will change. So I choose to change for the better. No matter what happens I can choose who I am. If bad things happen I can still choose to be good. I can't direct what things happen to me but I can choose how I react to those things.

Blue Skies

I am waiting for this storm in my life to fade into blue skies once more.

Rivers

Rivers run wide and deep be careful how you cross or you'll get your feet wet.

 

Sometimes people are rivers. They are constantly changing and taking the path of lest resistance. When you meet someone new its like coming to river. You can turn away and leave the person or you can float right over them, not really taking any interest in their problems, or you can get your feet wet. I'm not saying you should drown in their problems but perhaps you can learn to love the cold water that are their problems. By helping them you may very well find you are also helping yourself. Will you remember the river you floated across or will you remember the river you found love in. Your feet may be wet and your face be wet from tears of joy and happiness, but will you be a better person for dipping your feet in the river. 

There are no happy endings

I'm sure that title made you think I have totally lost it, but I promise I am perfectly sane. Well maybe just a little insane. Well,  anyways I realized that I don't want a happy ending, nor do I want a sad one. Because an ending in and of its self is sad. I think that we all need a happy progression. I want to eat sour fruit, so that the sweet is that much sweeter. I want to laugh and to cry. I want to make people happy, and I'm sure someone else will do the job of making them sad.

Well back to what I said before, there are no happy endings, because life won't just end. Life will go on and it won't end on a high note just as it won't end on a low. I is a constant song of low and high notes that create music. Maybe my song has been just a little sad but that doesn't mean it will stay that way forever.