What I thought....

I thought I was different. Or maybe that's what I dreamed. I dreamed of being different but I ended up just like the rest. I am just another rude disrespectful teen. I fell and I fell hard. To my friends I am the moneylender, a cruel old man who has no feelings. To her I am creepy always there and always thinking about her. To my parents they think I am lazy, the way they talk about me, I sound like the average teen. The biggest question is what am I, what am I really? Am I the moneylender? Do I not care about others? Am I creepy or do I just care? Am I lazy or am just tired? I will tell you who I think I am, I am old much to old for this young body. To old for anyone to love me. I am an artist I love the colors of the world. I am a lover not a fighter. My friends often say I am mean or cruel, but I just care about them, so I don't want them to get hurt. I care so I am mean, does that make sense? Is it a hard love?I dream about them understanding that I care.