Castaway: An Outcast

I feel like I should explain my blog. First I should define "Castaway".  A Castaway: is an outcast. That is what I sometimes make of myself and that is sometimes how others treat me, but it is more often my fault I am an outcast. I am often too hard on myself and on others, so other people don't really understand me. So if you are different, it is harder to be accepted.

You see, that is just one word "Castaway", but if you look closely you will notice that I used two words. "Cast away". I have been cast off from many groups. I have been ignored and forgotten more times than I can count. Sometimes others (and I) have sent me off to unknown regions of emotion, an endless sea that, without experience, one could easily become lost. Sometimes I feel as if I am stranded on an island of solitude. While my friends go off and make poor choices, I feel like I want to go with them, but then I realize that the water would be far over my head. If I were not able to swim anymore, I could drown. I have often gone with them and then I would feel like I started to drown. I could never tell them that, because they would think me weak. If there was anything I did not want them to think, it would be them believing me weak. I used to be the rock in their lives, but now I am drowning like the rest of them. I need saving.

I sometimes want something more than my little Desert Island but it is what I have been given. It is not what you have been given, it's what you do with that which you have been given. When we have been given a beautiful island paradise, we often long for rolling green fields, or never ending fields of wheat that we could just rest peacefully in. You don't realize what you have till its lost.