They say she knows.

All I know is that she is beautiful. They say she knows. I want to tell her but I don't. She has been through enough, she doesn't need anymore drama. I will love from a far. If she knows then I guess, well I guess she knows. If she knows that I'm in love with her then I hope that she understands that she is loved. I don't want anything from her. I don't want her love. I want her to be happy, and that could never happen with me. We are so different, but we are so alike. A friend told me that I deserve to be happy. I know I do and when she is happy I will be too. 

I may have just found what I have been looking for. I have felt something missing. All my life, I felt like I was missing something. I found it. I spent all this time trying to make ME happy. I never succeed. Then I found my happiness it didn't start with me. It started with her. She was happy just for a second and then so was I. Then it spread from just her. I helped some kid get up after he fell down. After that small act I felt that happiness again. I found it didn't start with me. I felt a new kind of love. Not that tween love but something more. I cared about something new. I stopped caring about myself and I cared about someone else. No I'm not perfect, but I will still try to bring others joy.  

If there was ever a time that I wanted her to know I loved her. It would be when she felt all alone. So it wasn't me getting credit. So that she would know I loved her from the day we met. I would also hope that she knew that she has been loved and always will be. She will always have a part of my love. I loved her with her quirks, and all of her imperfections.  She doesn't need to be perfect, because I love her not someone else.

In my dream world, we would spend everyday in our small dream home. By a fire with books. Our house would be a library. We would love to learn and write all the stories we lived and dreamed. We would fight sometimes but we would learn to understand. Because perfection isn't happiness, we cant know love with pain. The pain will make us love more.

One day she might know how much I love her, but it is not this day. And if she knows I want her to know, that I have loved her unconditionally, and will to the bitter end.