Bah Humbug

Happy New Year. Bah Humbug, it is just going to be like last year and the year before that. And now that you have read my negative post, try and make a New year resolution to not post negative things, or even try to avoid pointing out peoples mistakes (grammar and spelling). It could make the social media world a better place. A very merry new year to you all.

Never the same

So I realized that I will never be the same. No matter what happens good or bad. I will never be the same, as I am in this moment. I will change. So I choose to change for the better. No matter what happens I can choose who I am. If bad things happen I can still choose to be good. I can't direct what things happen to me but I can choose how I react to those things.

Blue Skies

I am waiting for this storm in my life to fade into blue skies once more.

Rivers

Rivers run wide and deep be careful how you cross or you'll get your feet wet.

 

Sometimes people are rivers. They are constantly changing and taking the path of lest resistance. When you meet someone new its like coming to river. You can turn away and leave the person or you can float right over them, not really taking any interest in their problems, or you can get your feet wet. I'm not saying you should drown in their problems but perhaps you can learn to love the cold water that are their problems. By helping them you may very well find you are also helping yourself. Will you remember the river you floated across or will you remember the river you found love in. Your feet may be wet and your face be wet from tears of joy and happiness, but will you be a better person for dipping your feet in the river. 

There are no happy endings

I'm sure that title made you think I have totally lost it, but I promise I am perfectly sane. Well maybe just a little insane. Well,  anyways I realized that I don't want a happy ending, nor do I want a sad one. Because an ending in and of its self is sad. I think that we all need a happy progression. I want to eat sour fruit, so that the sweet is that much sweeter. I want to laugh and to cry. I want to make people happy, and I'm sure someone else will do the job of making them sad.

Well back to what I said before, there are no happy endings, because life won't just end. Life will go on and it won't end on a high note just as it won't end on a low. I is a constant song of low and high notes that create music. Maybe my song has been just a little sad but that doesn't mean it will stay that way forever. 

Time

Well its time for me to pick up my life and move on. Oh well I guess it "was" time because I already moved on, or maybe the time is now and I just moved on early. Hmmm well that's complicated. Life is moving on with or without me. So I decided to move with it. Time waits for no man. I will not forget, but I will not dwell on it. It's time.

Forgotten

The words that I love have disappeared, they have forgotten me. I am now left alone to try and make things right, but how can I make things right when I don't know what went wrong in the first place. How can I be loved when I don't even love myself.

People say I am holding back. Well how bad do you want to know what I am holding back, and what are you willing to do to find out.

End of a chapter

Its been so long since I last wrote. If you are just beginning reading my blog I would suggest you start from the beginning and read from there. We any ways I should explain myself. So here it is, I will no longer be writing about the mysterious beautiful girl I have been writing about.  I have been told many times that my blog is sad, so I will try to save you the pain. All I have is one last letter to her. This will end this chapter of my blog. It has taken weeks to write and now I will share it. 

Dear you,

This is my last letter to you, for now. I used to wonder if life was a dream because it was just so wonderful because I knew you. The sky was more shades of blue when you were around, the sun was always brighter, and I was always happier when you would smile at me (though I would never show it). I would find myself always wanting you to be happy because you brought so much joy and light into my life, from the day I met you. You brought light into a dark place. You gave me so much without me even realizing.

I would say the world was perfect when you were around, but it wasn't, and I wouldn't want it to be. Because how would I know happiness without a little pain. You showed me happiness, and I provided the pain in my life. You aren't perfect but I never wanted someone someone who was perfect, I wanted you. If you were to change yourself for someone then you wouldn't be you anymore, I am in love with you, not someone else.

I already know you do not share how I feel, so that is why this is the last post about love. All I wanted to say is that I don't know if I will ever stop loving you, but I will leave you alone. Well never truly alone I will always be there (just not with chocolate and roses). So I guess this is good bye for now. See ya soon, well maybe. I am ending this chapter in my life, I will no longer be writing about you. Just thinking about you. I never wanted anything from you, I just want you to be happy. So long be safe, and most of all be happy. Remember that all that pain will help you to be happier the next day.

   With a one sided love,

         The Cast Away       

More Questions

Someone told me to ask some of these questions, so I added some to make it more interesting. If you are reading this blog feel free to answer any or all of these questions. Write a comment or post a link to your own blog. Or just answer them to yourself. It will be fun.... Maybe.

1. If you were told you had six months left to live and someone handed you a million bucks, what would you do?
2. What do you want to be when you grow up?
3. How old do you consider yourself to be? (body & soul)
4. Who means most to you in the world? 
5. Do you believe in God?
6. What's your favorite color and why?
7. Tell me a song that brings back a lot of memories.
8. Tell me a song that changed your life.
9. Tell me about something you love to do and why you love to do it.
10. Tell me a joke.
11. How do you want to be remembered as a person?
12. Why do you read my blog?
13. Why are you here, on this earth?
14. What type of art do you love? (dancing, singing, painting, just any art)
15. What do you love about yourself?
16. What do you love about other people? 
17. Why do want to be loved?
18. What makes you sad?
19. What are some things that bring you Joy?
20. What would you do to make the world a better place?

Here we go again.

Yeah I know you are quite sick of me talking about...... you know who (the good attractive one, not the one without a nose), but here is some more. Well I have learned my lesson ( not really). I stopped loving her (well that's a lie). I am completely OK (who doesn't say that, really). Well lets see hmm I am going crazy. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I love her the same way every day, but there is no love for me. No, she does love me but not like I love her.
Someone once told me my blog was sad. I just want to say I am sorry. We all have enough pain in our lives.

Dare to stand alone

Questions and answers.

These are some questions I was asked I thought you guys would like to know the answers.

1. If you were told you had six months left to live and someone handed you a million bucks, what would you do?
2. What do you want to be when you grow up?
3. How old do you consider yourself to be? (body & soul)
4. Who means most to you in the world? (Don't answer this if it's too personal)
5. Do you believe in God?
6. What is a strange dream you've had?
7. What's your favorite color and why?
8. Tell me a song that brings back a lot of memories.
9. Tell me a song that changed your life.
10. Tell me about something you love to do and why you love to do it.
11. Tell me a joke.
12. Finally, how do you want to be remembered as a person?

1. I would give it all away. 1 million dollars it wouldn't mean anything with 6 months t live. Money can gain and lose value in a moment. I wouldn't want a penny of it. I want something that lasts. With so little time I would want give away one thousand nice words to people I don't know. Real sincere words, words that meant something. That would be worth more than all the money in the world. I love words more than I love any earthly thing.
2. Is happy an answer. That's all I really want is to be happy. I use to think once I had money I would be happy but that's not true.
3. My body is young, but my soul is so so old. I don't even know the age of my soul but I can tell you one thing I feel old.
4. I used to think money or power, but I realized that I was not happy. I know Power isn't a person but I loved it more than anyone or anything. With this girl I know, I would be dead or far worse of than I am now. She means the most to me.
5. With every fiber of my body. I know he lives and I love him. With out him there would be no me.
6. I don't dream when I sleep. I only dream when I am awake.
7. I love all the shades of blue because of my love of the sky and the magical ocean, but I also love all the shades green for its dependency and because I love things that grow. I love the shades of red because it is the symbol of passion and love. I love yellow and oranges because they are the symbol of happiness and I love to be happy, but what I love most is grey. I bet you wonder why I love grey, it is because of her eyes. What she considers boring and lifeless I find love. Grey has become the color of love for me. Not because the world said so, but because she said so.She made it mean love, she changed my view.
8."People Will Say We're In Love". It used to be me and her when we were "married". I didn't realize how much it was true.
9."Who am I?". I was lost then I was found, this song change my life.
10. I love to paint, no I just love art. All types of art, because I love beauty.
11. Do you know whats funny, people. People are funny.
12. I don't want to be remember, I want what I did to be remembered. I want people to see what I have done not and not acknowledge me. Its about them, not me.

What I thought....

I thought I was different. Or maybe that's what I dreamed. I dreamed of being different but I ended up just like the rest. I am just another rude disrespectful teen. I fell and I fell hard. To my friends I am the moneylender, a cruel old man who has no feelings. To her I am creepy always there and always thinking about her. To my parents they think I am lazy, the way they talk about me, I sound like the average teen. The biggest question is what am I, what am I really? Am I the moneylender? Do I not care about others? Am I creepy or do I just care? Am I lazy or am just tired? I will tell you who I think I am, I am old much to old for this young body. To old for anyone to love me. I am an artist I love the colors of the world. I am a lover not a fighter. My friends often say I am mean or cruel, but I just care about them, so I don't want them to get hurt. I care so I am mean, does that make sense? Is it a hard love?I dream about them understanding that I care.

All I want.

I just want a small cottage with large library, that is full of thousands of books. Good books, bad books, books that small of paper, and books that smell of leather. I love words,  no I love good words, I just want to write forever and ever. I also just want to find time for all of my Oil paintings, or my sculptures. I would love to just create I miss that. I want to bake and cook, and find time for all the things I don't find time for, but most of all I just want to be happy. I will be happy if shes happy and if shes not then I will do my best to make her happy. If that does not work then I will just have to choose happiness, but I will not forget her.

Its been a while.

Its funny how I speak so much, but I say so little. The people who truly understand me are the people who hear what I'm saying when I am not speaking. There are so many things I want to say, but I cant. I feel like I am two different people. I love one side but hate the other, but I would not be me without the other side. I am just trying to move on like they said. It hurts but if its whats best for her then what can I do. Move on. That is it just do it, it will hurt but if it whats best then I will do it. I love her but only on my own. I cant keep causing the drama. Its time for a change, I cant be apart of her life so I will move on.

Why do I love her.

If she ever ask me why I loved her what would I say? Would I say that I love her because she is beautiful, or maybe I would say it is because she never asked me to change. I feel like I could not express in all the words which I love so much, why I love her. It's not that there isn't anything to say, no, I could fill a thousand books with what I love about her. It's what I can't explain about her which is what I would want to tell her. I do not know how to say it, but it is there. I wish I could explain in one sentence, no in one word. The things that are the most beautiful are often the hardest to explain. I would write a book about her beauty but I want something more lasting. Something that could last forever. I would just like one word to explain it, because you can burn a book, but you can't destroy a word. I wish that I had one word to tell her why I love her. A word that one could explain the beauty of the sunrise or beauty of rain. Or a word that could explian all kindness or love in the world. A word that could mean everything that is beautiful. I would use this word to tell her why I loved her.

She often says that she hates her name, but that is one of the things I love about her. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. I hope that she understands that I would love her with of without her name the way it is.

Don't play with her emotions.

There is so much. Really there is just so much. So much of everything, so much drama, so much beauty, and so much pain. I feel so much pain everyday, every second. There is a girl falling for me. I hardly even know her but I am so so sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. I really hate to cause other people pain. It hurts me. I don't want to hurt her. I never want to hurt anyone ever. I want to tell this girl that she is beautiful, because she is, but I don't want to toy with her emotions. I would say it, because it is true, not to be "nice" and not to ask for something. Someone should tell her she is beautiful, but who? I cant give her my heart because it isn't mine to give. If I could choose her I would, but I cant. Like a friend once said "you would be my first choice, but it isn't my choice."

I hope that one day a perfect boy finds you, and treats you the way you deserve which is perfectly. I don't want to be the heart breaker, I want whats best for you. That isn't me right now. If it start now then it could go nowhere. All that is good is worth the wait. I will wait for the women I love for eternity, or I will do whats hardest and I will walk away. If that is whats best for her then I would walk away. Believe me when I say I know how it feels to love someone and their heart belongs to someone else. The hardest part is when you have to walk away. I would climb any mountain for her, but if it came to it I would walk back down. The way down would be much harder than up hill, but if that's what it takes for her happiness. Then I would do it. I would never ever do anything to hurt her, but if I did it would hurt me so much more. Now I want you to find your perfect man and I want you to marry him, not yet. Because everything that is good is worth the wait. Now I want to tell you, I think you're beautiful, not in a weird way but not in the way you want. I want the heart to break clean so that one day when you knight in shinning armor comes, he can fix it. I am no ones knight in shinning armor, yet. My armor is old and rusty, but I will fix and put all my love,effort, and time into it. Just like the heart of the girl whose heart was broken many times. This is my quest it may not be who I think it is but I know that one day there will be one girl, and I will love her better than I thought I ever could.

I am a Seeker of truth.

I am always on a quest, a quest for truth. I believe happiness is truth, but let us take a moment to understand what truth is. Truth is right, truth is holy, and truth is love. Happiness is a root from the tree of love. There are but two trees. The tree of love and the tree of fear. Hatred, greed, lust, and anything that would be considered evil are from the tree of fear. Fear is a wretched tree that at first glace all would turn away, but when one just sees the roots they do not know to turn away. The other tree is the tree of love. It is not some hippie form of love or some teen love triangle, it is not ever what many people base their relationships off of. It is a deep true love. Love, that is not selfish. Love without physical attraction. It is based off of caring more about another person more than yourself. You care for their happiness more than your own, and in the end you are happy if they are. All that is truth comes from the tree of love.

Trees grow as do love and fear. They are always growing more roots and they are always spreading. You must be careful to know which tree the root is from before you cling to it. I have been on a quest for truth and I have found it in love.

If I Can't Love Her: Beauty and the Beast

And in my twisted face
There's not the slightest trace
Of anything that even hints of kindness
And from my tortured shape
No comfort, no escape
I see, but deep within is utter blindness
Hopeless
As my dream dies
As the time flies
Love a lost illusion
Helpless
Unforgiven
Cold and driven
To this sad conclusion
No beauty could move me
No goodness improve me
No power on earth, if I can't love her
No passion could reach me
No lesson could teach me
How I could have love her and made her love me too
If I can't love her, then who?
Long ago I should have seen
All the things I could have been
Careless and unthinking, I moved onward
No pain could be deeper
No life could be cheaper
No point anymore, if I can't love her
No spirit could win me
No hope left within me
Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free
But it's not to be
If I can't love her
Let the world be done with me.

I hope

The only reason I would ever want her to be with me, is if I made her happy. My love for her is not for me, it is for her. I could never do anything except make her happy. So I think that has led me to where I am now. I'm going to try and give her some space. I have only added drama so I will leave her to be happy. If I could stop loving her I would, but I don't work like that. All that I want is her happiness. I have loved her since the day I met her. I did not realize that till a little while ago. I would never want her to love me now. Because nothing could come of it. If she ever did love me (which she won't) I would have it be later rather than sooner. Things that take the longest to form are the hardest to destroy. If it took me a thousand years then, it would be a thousand years well spent. If I had to walk a thousand miles, then I would walk them gladly. Anything worth working for is worth waiting for, and if its worth waiting for then it is good. I will wait and I will see where it leads me. I hope it leads me to joy, and I hope when it is all said and done. I hope she finds the joy and love she so desperately needs, but I hope it happens at the right time for her. I hope it isn't rushed. I hope it will last for her.

In love...... With something new.

I'm in love, with things that grow. In love with all of the plants and trees. I love the tulips in the spring and the leaves in the fall. I love the smell of everything new after a long winter. As a child I loved winter and summer, winter because it was fun, and summer because school was out and I could play all day. Now I love beauty I see beauty in all of goods creations, but I love the beauty in the spring with the blossoms and the flowers. I love the colors of the fall. I'm in love with a little pain, because without it I would not know happiness.

Choices

People say money is the root of all evil. I don't believe this to be true. Yes money cause problems but that does not mean money is bad, its what people do with money which is bad. People are not bad, but we are weak to temptation but we are also strong enough to overcome it! We don't have to live the way our fathers lived and we don't have to live the way we are living right now. Let me tell you a secret. Great leaders of the world don't live like everyone else, they realized that they could change the way people looked at things. They could mold the very way we think. So they used this great power or this great idea to rise above the rest of the people around them. You, yes you no matter who you are you can change the world. I know you must think I'm crazy because everyone says that. Well guess what? It's true! You could one day be the president of the United States! Leader’s aren't supposed to be above everyone they are supposed to be on the front lines blazing a trail for others to follow, so that it's easier for the people who come after them.

When something bad happens, people say that’s just the way life is but they are wrong. Life is the way you make it. You can just sit back and watch life go pass and do nothing about it, or you can choose to change it. Some of the biggest mistakes mankind has made is sitting around doing nothing. When you just waste time that is one of the greatest sin of all. You may think oh killing someone is worse. But if you think about it is wasting time when you take someone’s life it's just wasting their time.Think of all the time they could have spent helping other people, but now they cannot. When you spend time think poorly about someone you are wasting your own time now. Time you could use to help someone else get through all their pain. When someone hurts you all you think about is the pain you’re going through. Now think about the 6 billion other people out there that can feel that same pain the same pain your feeling. If you could help them with their pain  would you?

Writing about her...again.

Some how someone told me, she thought, that I believed we were soul mates. I know this is not the case. I never asked for her love. I wanted, but I never asked. The hardest part about loving her is knowing that she will never love me, but that's ok. I begin to understand her more and more every day.  So I know that there will never be love between us. I know that it's just a one way love. I'm on a one way road. and it leads to her. I will never reach her, but I will always love her. I don't want to be some charity case. I want love and if its not real then I would never want it. This is why I have such a hard time letting people help me. I have a hard time knowing when its real love, or if its just someone feeling like they are the be all and end all of charity, and they need to help to make themselves feel better. Love is helping them first then felling good. Not wanting to feel good then helping them.

Writers block

I have so many things I want to say, but I can't. I want to say I'm sorry. I want to explain myself but I can't. Well I'll try. Here it goes.

The only reason I get so angry when he says those things. Is because I am so afraid that what he is saying is true. I so don't want it to be true, that I try to hind my fear. I don't usually vocally express myself. I just write what I am feeling. People don't read my blog so they don't really know what's going through my head.

They say she knows.

All I know is that she is beautiful. They say she knows. I want to tell her but I don't. She has been through enough, she doesn't need anymore drama. I will love from a far. If she knows then I guess, well I guess she knows. If she knows that I'm in love with her then I hope that she understands that she is loved. I don't want anything from her. I don't want her love. I want her to be happy, and that could never happen with me. We are so different, but we are so alike. A friend told me that I deserve to be happy. I know I do and when she is happy I will be too. 

I may have just found what I have been looking for. I have felt something missing. All my life, I felt like I was missing something. I found it. I spent all this time trying to make ME happy. I never succeed. Then I found my happiness it didn't start with me. It started with her. She was happy just for a second and then so was I. Then it spread from just her. I helped some kid get up after he fell down. After that small act I felt that happiness again. I found it didn't start with me. I felt a new kind of love. Not that tween love but something more. I cared about something new. I stopped caring about myself and I cared about someone else. No I'm not perfect, but I will still try to bring others joy.  

If there was ever a time that I wanted her to know I loved her. It would be when she felt all alone. So it wasn't me getting credit. So that she would know I loved her from the day we met. I would also hope that she knew that she has been loved and always will be. She will always have a part of my love. I loved her with her quirks, and all of her imperfections.  She doesn't need to be perfect, because I love her not someone else.

In my dream world, we would spend everyday in our small dream home. By a fire with books. Our house would be a library. We would love to learn and write all the stories we lived and dreamed. We would fight sometimes but we would learn to understand. Because perfection isn't happiness, we cant know love with pain. The pain will make us love more.

One day she might know how much I love her, but it is not this day. And if she knows I want her to know, that I have loved her unconditionally, and will to the bitter end.

The good old Sunrise

Everyday I watch the sunrise, because my day starts so early. I realized the beauty in a sunrise. Anyone can stay up to watch the sunset, but not everyone can get up to watch the sunrise. Its not easy to wake up to see the beauty. I love the colors of the sunset, but I am in love with the meaning of a sunrise. It means you have survived another day, and as it rises over the mountain it drives the darkness away. It brings hope. Hope of another day. Hope that I can make it just one more day. That's how I live my life one sunrise at a time. No Im not a natural morning person, but I make myself a morning person. Its a beautiful work.

So I know this girl....

This girl is amazing. She is more than just attractive. She is basically perfect. No, she is not always perfect, but I wouldn't expect anything more from her. I wish her all the happiness in the world. I wish that she will find love but that she may also feel a little pain, because it will make that love mean so much more. I want her to have the absolute best. Her happiness is all that matters to me. As long as she is happy, I will be happy. If that means I would have to step back and let a better man take my place then that's what I will do. I want her to never have to be alone.

So I know this girl. This most beautiful and her name is.................. Well maybe latter.

The old souls

I do indeed feel like an old soul. I may look young, but when you look in my eyes you can see the age. I spent my time waiting for the opportunity to come here to this earth. I will not throw away this great gift. I have seen first hand the pains of the world. Don't anyone dare say I have not felt pain.I have seen pain but I have also found joy. I have discovered joy in places I did not expect. I have found joy in poverty and I have found pain in wealth. I don't wish for more power, just happiness. 

I feel as if I know nothing, but have seen a thousand lifetimes of the earth. It hurts some people to try and think about eternity, but I found out that's because they are trying to think about the end. I just think about the blessing of learning and growing forever. That will be my joy.

A post from a friend

This is part of a post from one of my friends. I would tell her but I feel she was she was never mine to lose.

"And above all. When you fall in love with her, tell her. Let her know you love her little habits, like how she bites her lip when she's thinking and how she never sleeps. tell her you like the way her hair curls and hold her when she's sad. and believe me, if you don't deserve her, you won't tell her, and if you don't tell her, you'll lose her, and that's just what comes with being an ordinary boy chasing after an extraordinary girl."
This is her blog  http://www.smalltownsunriser.blogspot.com/

Just a friend.

Tonight I was just a friend. They call me a brother, but I am just a friend. Their boyfriends will come and go, but I will always be there. I used to think that I needed to be more than just a friend. I was jealous of all of their relationships, but then I realized it's ok to just be a friend. I am there for you and I have always been there for you, all of you. When life gets you down I will lift you. When you are sad I will cry with you, but I will not let you cry forever. Because every sad tear that you shed, I will make you shed a happy one. You mean that much to me. If you are lost I will find you. I will always find you. Just remember when you need a dance partner, I will be there to dance awkwardly by your side. It is not the best dancers who are the happiest, it is the dancers who dance with their friends.

Beautiful

I have traveled the world. I have see some of the most beautiful locations in the world, and she is still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I have seen the bluest waters in the world, and her eyes beat that. She will be worth the wait.

Castaway: An Outcast

I feel like I should explain my blog. First I should define "Castaway".  A Castaway: is an outcast. That is what I sometimes make of myself and that is sometimes how others treat me, but it is more often my fault I am an outcast. I am often too hard on myself and on others, so other people don't really understand me. So if you are different, it is harder to be accepted.

You see, that is just one word "Castaway", but if you look closely you will notice that I used two words. "Cast away". I have been cast off from many groups. I have been ignored and forgotten more times than I can count. Sometimes others (and I) have sent me off to unknown regions of emotion, an endless sea that, without experience, one could easily become lost. Sometimes I feel as if I am stranded on an island of solitude. While my friends go off and make poor choices, I feel like I want to go with them, but then I realize that the water would be far over my head. If I were not able to swim anymore, I could drown. I have often gone with them and then I would feel like I started to drown. I could never tell them that, because they would think me weak. If there was anything I did not want them to think, it would be them believing me weak. I used to be the rock in their lives, but now I am drowning like the rest of them. I need saving.

I sometimes want something more than my little Desert Island but it is what I have been given. It is not what you have been given, it's what you do with that which you have been given. When we have been given a beautiful island paradise, we often long for rolling green fields, or never ending fields of wheat that we could just rest peacefully in. You don't realize what you have till its lost.

Love and fear

People don’t like to be messed with. They don’t like to be hurt. They don’t like to be embarrassed. There are many things people do not enjoy. But there are many things they do enjoy. People want to be loved. Love is not a mushy gushy thing only for the young; no, it is something much more than that. It is a deep desire in all of us, to be accepted, and to be loved.  We often do not understand the world around us. That is why we fear it because there are only two ultimate emotions in the world, love and fear. We want love, but fear being hurt. We want to be ourselves, but we fear being misunderstood. We often judge other people because we think they are judging us. But this is where we are wrong. By them judging us they are just judging a mirror image of themselves. The faults we look for in other people are the faults in ourselves. The hardest critic is yourself.  You are not judging other people you are judging you. We cannot even begin to understand the human condition. People think that people are cruel and self-centered and in most cases we tend to lean that way but this is where the world makes a mistake. People are really kind because when they find love, they are happy and when they are happy they will make others happy. There will be people who judge you. There will always be people judging you. But remember, they are just judging themselves.  The only thing that hinders love is fear.

Laughter: A force that can BUILD or DESTROY

Every day a new challenge. Today, I look insanity in the face and I laugh. A laugh that warms the heart or chills the bone. Laughter has the power to build and destroy. A laugh can build a relationship or completely ruin one. No one likes a laugh meant to harm. On the outside you laugh with them, but on the inside you fall. You fall so far from your nest on the tree limb. The fall is so far. You never want to fall again, but it happens so often you begin to ignore the pain. You cant stop other people from hurting you but you can stop hurting other people.  One simple chuckle is all it takes to make someone's soul soar higher than the clouds. It makes them feel wanted. Like a bird finally being able to fly. Like they belong.